How to prevent, reduce and cope with stress.
Stress is happening in your life on a daily basis, whether its the bills coming in, taking an hour to drive to work, working and then rushing home for the kids, it is everywhere. You may think that it is impossible to reduce or prevent stress but there are ways that can help you to manage it on a daily basis.
We all respond to stress differently and so there is no one way to manage it. But if you feel your life is out of control then it is definitely time to take measures to slow things down or to introduce coping methods.
Where is stress in your life? Its important to locate where it is coming from as over time it all seems normal and you don't think "it" is causing stress.
I suggest you start a stress journal and it will help you to track where it is coming from and the patterns you have formed. Heres a few questions to ask yourself.
How do you cope with stress at the moment? Do you have time out when you have a smoke, or go to the pub for a drink or do drugs or take your stress out on others by getting angry, or sleep all day as you have no energy or sit in front of the tv all night.
As much as we need balance if you are doing any of the above activities every day, it is time to start looking at how you can can your habits or change the way you think about life.
Some healthy ways of dealing with stress.
Core Limiting Beliefs
When you are a young child you are like a sponge, you take in everything that is happening around you to be true and real, you take the world at face value. So your family and friends and teachers are your reality. And from this reality you draw what I call your core beliefs.
If you were brought up in a family where neglect was normal and you were told 'you have done that wrong or not good enough" your beliefs or what you believe about yourself and the world will be quite different than someone whom had a loving environment where encouragement and praise was dished out on a daily basis.
I had a client whose mother was abusive and depressed and often wasn't there for her. She felt alone and unsupported. She grew up believing, The world is not a safe place. I never have anyone there to support me. Its easier to be quiet and lose my voice and my opinions, just to keep the peace.
She had physical and emotional symptoms presenting as low energy, never feeling part of group situations, as much as she didn't always want to be on her own, it was safer and she could never quite give to a relationship fully.
Based on my work with clients, there is a list of common core limiting beliefs that people believe about themselves as children and take them into adulthood.
Im not safe.
Im not good enough.
Im ugly and fat.
The universe is such an unfriendly place.
I am powerless and have not control.
No one love me.
I have no idea who I am.
Its safer if nothing changes.
Only bad things happen to me.
Theres no one there for me.
If I express my thoughts or needs to others I will be judged and rejected.
I should be thankful for what I have even if Im not happy.
As you can imagine these thoughts about yourself do not set you up to succeed or to have a happy life. What happens is that as a 50 year old, you are running on a 4 year olds view of themselves and the world.
Look back over your family life at what you heard often, this will give you clues.
Check all the beliefs above that resonate for you. These are the ones to work on.