To love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs:
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
your think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes I will take you
I will love you, again.
We are feed so much information about needing to be positive.
To think positive thoughts.
To look at your life through a lens of positivity.
Now don't get me wrong, the more we are able to live life from a place of peace and love, the more we will attract that into our lives and the more our reality will change to reflect that.
BUT that does not mean that the bad and ugly is to be forced to hide and is best to be covered up. No matter what is happening in our lives it is not a good idea to squash all the negative emotions and thoughts down or to think that we are healed if I only think loving peaceful thoughts.
This is a time bomb waiting to explode!
To heal, grow and expand our lives into seeing and been more positive, means we must also accept and fully love the bad and ugly.
Yes LOVE it till it feels accepted and fully loved.
Not always easy I know.
Fully loving a situation does not mean you will have it for life but instead means that you love it till it is accepted just the way it is and then it no longer has a place in your life. It means it can then go and you can create great stuff.
Give it a try.
Choose something you don't like like an ache in your body or a boss who drives you crazy or having no energy.
And every day when you think about love it a little more, imagine that you just love it for what it is, no matter what.
You may find you have lots of mind chatter that says this is rubbish, or it won't heal if I Fully Love it but I encourage you to give it a try for 30 days.
You may wish that life was smooth sailing and that everything goes exactly as you wish and nothing gets in the way of your happiness.
As idea as this sounds it is the ups and downs of life that help us learn and grow. For example, we usually don't give serious thought to our physical condition when we are savoring healthy and vital living. But this doesn't mean we should consider illness simply as the enemy of well-being and write it off as the source of misery and suffering in life, because we can actually find positive meaning in illness.
Let us consider why we become sick. If we look back and contemplate a series of events that may have led us to illness we will see that there is always an early stage or a preliminary period before we develop an illness. This is when we see a sign that something is wrong with our physical body. We start to feel like we are coming down with something. We may feel pain, nausea, or other symptoms that prevent us from doing what we usually do. In a sense this is nature's way of telling us to rest and recuperate when we are at the brink of collapse. If always healthy, we would take it for granted and keep working until we dropped.
So one positive role that illness plays in our lives is that it keeps us alive when we burn out. Illness forces us to temporarily stop working and rest so we can live out our life and fulfill our true purpose in this world. Illness can save and extend life by giving us time to recuperate. If we never fell ill, we might push ourselves beyond the limit and leave this world before our time. By forcing us to rest we undergo a period of recuperation, physical ailments serve as precautions against life-threatening damage to our body.
This period of recuperation brings us alot more benefits than just physical rest. When we become sick, we become introspective: we take the time to look within and reflect on our thoughts and feelings. We often neglect to look inward when we become busy with our social lives or preoccupied with external achievement.
We're at special risk when the goal of our life becomes getting ahead in a competitive society. This leaves us no room to care about anything else, and we start to adopt a falsely positive attitude and judge everything by outward results. Failures and setbacks, either at work or in health, await them at some point in life to serve as catalysts to help them find their true self.
A section from Ryuho Okawa's book Invincible Thinking
Yes our bodies hold old memories as stuck, gooey emotions.
Have you ever wondered what happened to the pain, anger and shame you felt after a distressing and disturbing event. Or the pain and shock in going through a divorce, or the scarring and terrifying impact from an accident.
All these feelings and emotions put us into a state of stress.
When we are in a state of stress and fear, we also have doubt. We have lots of questions and alot of these questions go unanswered.
Fear contracts our bodies and we are in the fight and flight response. We store the emotions or the events safetly into the organs and muscles of our body thinking that they will help us to stay alert and aware so that we never have to go through that kind of event again. Unfortunately it means that we are now carrying around baggage that holds us stuck in the past.
I was reminded of exactly this today as in a session with a healer she reminded me that we are slowly going back in time, clearing out each event and emotion as we go. This also means that our bodies need some time to adjust and grow in a new way.
If you have old events and emotions lingering, I encourage you to take some time to work with a healer, who can slowly and gently help you to clear out the old events so you may move forward feeling free and happy.
When we get out of flight and fight our bodies can do amazing things but firstly we must get into the parasympathetic state of rest and relaxation.
The words that you say and the thoughts that you think create your reality.
We talk all day long and if we aren't then we sure are having a million thoughts in our heads.
I never use to even think about what I said, I certainly didn't think that what I said would be making any difference in my life.
For me it was more the way I spoke to myself in my head like I'm not good enough or thats too hard.
We think it doesn't matter what or how we talk to ourselves but really would you talk to a friend that way?
Start to really listen to yourself and pull yourself up when you hear the judgement or critzism you are telling yourself. Its your choice, you can change it now. Change the I am not good enough into I am getting so much better at that, or I am proud of you, lets try again.
Choice to change your reality by changing the way you talk to yourself or others.
Ok here goes......
I have known for ages that I get this shaky feeling inside me the minute I think about putting my true thoughts and feelings into writing.
Maybe you also know this feeling.
Because it is easier to stay small.
I am scared of hurting others by my words
I really don't want to deal with conflict.
I might have it all wrong.
No one else might think the same way as me.
I might be ostracized.
Others might talk about me.
What I write may not make sense to anyone else.
Yes this feels really true for me and it may for you too.
Is this the truth?
No and I know that but at some level in my subconscious mind I have a memory or feeling that tells me it is unsafe for me to write my thoughts for others to read.
I don't know what this memory is but what I do know is how I feel when I go to write.
This feeling has been with me for a while. It has been a gift by helping me to stay safe and protected but it is no longer helping me, if anything it is holding me stuck in fear and doubt.
So as I will look at what beliefs I can balance to make this an easier journey, allowing "that feeling" to sit back and relax when I wish to write.
Heres some beliefs that I would like to have to support me on my journey.
Maybe make some of your own enhancing beliefs to live by.
If you need help, let me know.
We often make a story up about ourselves that at some stage kept us safe and protected but as we grow older, these stories no longer help or support us. Yes we can push through but by changing the limiting belief into supportive ones it allows our journey forward to be easier, smoother and faster.
I encourage you to choose a fear or doubt that you may feel and come up with some powerful, juicy and supportive beliefs to help you take that next step.
How long will this journey take?
I hear this all the time.
How long will it take to be successful?
How long will it take to feel happy and healthy?
How long will it take to get out of debt?
How long will it take to have a loving relationship?
How long will it take to have a life I may love?
The answer is I don't know. We all have different backgrounds. We've all had different experiences. We all have different fears and doubts.
What I do guarantee is we will work as fast as your body will allow.
What I do believe is that whatever goal you set for yourself is achievable. If you are prepared to do the work and are prepared to work on yourself. I am sure you will succeed if you are prepared to work on yourself.
And of course getting coaching will help to speed up that process.
Having a coach or facilitator you trust is important so you can go as deep as you like or as shallow as you like, to get the results.
A facilitator understands where you are coming from and where you want to go.
A true coach believes in you and is there to support and nurture your journey so you can take the next step.
Do you feel like you are running towards your goals and dreams but just never seem to get there? Clearly something is holding you back. Chances are you are blocked by limiting beliefs you don't even know you have.
What is a limiting belief?
A belief is something you believe to be true about yourself and the world around you. Beliefs are mostly gained before the age of 7 from parents, friends, teachers at school and cultures. These subconscious views run our day to day lives and create our potential to be successful or a failure, to be happy or unhappy, healthy, rich or poor.
You mostly wont now what beliefs you are holding onto that are limiting you without taking a little time to access you life. Beliefs become so automatic, they are just normal speech like, sorry I can't do that, I don't have enough money.
Areas to look at is
Relationships: Look how you interact with people. Do you feel like you belong? Do you feel loved and lovable?
Health: Do you believe you are worthy of good health? Are you always feeling like you have no energy?
Money: When you were growing up were you told, we dont have money for fun adventures, so you learnt how to save, BUT when do you spend money on yourself
Self Love and Care: Are you a fantastic carer and it feels like you get so much from looking after people but you are exhausted and dont take time out for yourself?
Steps to take to move out of been stuck into clarity and happiness.
When you feel like you are blocked, ask yourself, What do I really believe about myself that could be attracting this situation?
Say to yourself, I am willing to release the need to_________(be lonely or disrespected etc)
If there is something that will change your life fast, it is changing old limiting beliefs into supporting, loving ones.
You came as a powerful being.
You came as a lover not a hater.
You came to expect good of yourself.
You have become so use to expecting negativity that you have come to expect that as a lifestyle.
Lets move on.....
Care about what you THINK.
Care about what you FEEL.
Care so so much about the way you feel. I want you to become so particular about what you feel, just as much as what you feel about what you eat.
I don't hear you say I don't like that food but I will go back for more anyway.
So don't keep going back for more thoughts that you don't like.
Find the feelings and thoughts that taste good.
Care about it.
Make it a priority.