The path to authenticity can be painful, confronting and down right scary. It's certainly a challenge. Most of us would rather not bare our soul. Our fears of not fitting in, not been liked and loved are some of the main reason we would rather allow ourselves to lay dormant. In our desire to be liked we shut down our truth and suppress our authentic self. So deep down that we can get to a stage where we find ourselves asking "who am I?" We dress to please others. We say things we don't really mean. We change how we react depending on who we are with. We hang out with people who do suit us. We ask other people what they think would be the best for us to do. We do things for others to keep the harmony. In all these situations we have lost our authenticity. We don't really know what we want to do, or where we want to go. Its like been on a raft rushing down the rapids and its pretty hard to get off as the fear of whether we will be liked and accepted or whether it is safe to jump, is too great. We tell ourselves that the few times we please others is ok but we start to believe we are not worthy, or our needs are not important. As times goes by we end up with hundreds of beliefs, that are not supporting our needs or wants. We dull ourselves down knowing that deep inside we want to feel more joy and love and most of all we want to be ourselves. For the biggest shift to happen in our lives we must decide we want to change. We want to be true to ourselves, we want to make ourselves a priority, we want to love ourselves. This takes courage but once the decision is make to change and follow your authentic self you are on the journey and believe it or not, its a much easier journey than pushing against yourself to please others. Lets start the journey... 1. Be honest to yourself. Start to ask yourself, "Is this what I really want to do?" before you decide to do anything. 2. Love yourself. Get really friendly with yourself. Look into the mirror and say "I love you", "I really love you" as Louise Hay suggests every day. 3. Do the things you are putting off. Do you need a haircut or do you need to fix the washing machine. Get them done now. Make a list every day on what you need to achieve. 4. Say no to the things you really don't want to do, the things you do to keep the balance in a relationship or job. 5. Whats one thing you can change today? Is it putting time in for you, or having that conversation with a loved one you have been putting off? 6. Listen carefully to what you say out loud or to yourself. Are your beliefs supporting you? Choosing to live authentically now allows the future to support you in wonderful new ways.
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How does this work? It is a session done with/for someone who is unable to come physically into my clinic. Distant sessions are chosen because it saves time or because the client lives on the other side of the world. At The Healing Room we have clients from all over NZ, Australia, England, Europe and USA. To set up a distant session, we require details on physical, mental and emotional present and past health. And what your intention for the session is. Then we set up a time for the session. A session is done via Skype or can be done at a time when you are sleeping or just going about your day. A detailed report on what has been covered is sent via email once the session is complete. Distant sessions are just as effective as face-to-face ones. To book a distant session click here Within the PSYCH-K modality there are many fantastic, fast and easy balances that can be done in a session One that I love is the Core belief Balance. Mostly because you can do a huge amount of work in such a short time. 26 beliefs checked and balanced in one process. This balance helps you to discover and change core beliefs that may be blocking you from achieving your desired goals in life. It includes 13 pairs of belief statements that represent basic and vital issues such as: Self-worth Self-love Forgiveness Contentment Letting Go of the Past Life Purpose & Direction Harmony with Life Trusting your choices The Core Belief Balance will identify which of the 13 areas are “weak” for you and balance those so that all of these basic core beliefs are in alignment to support your highest and best outcomes. I see the Core Belief Balance as important as balancing the foundations of a house. If we don't believe that 'we are safe', or 'trust the choices we make' then the foundations on which we live are uneven and rocky. And this could contribute to a life where you must work hard to achieve or just feeling out of sorts. This balance can be done as a general balance on life or can be done for a specific issue. "Oh that happened 10 years ago," I hear you say. "Its long gone", "Im over that." How often do I hear that! Yes the event may have happened 10 years ago but that does not mean the pain, hurt and stress from that event is forgotten or not impacting your life. Unless we get the wisdom or ahha moment from that event then it sits in our energy field. Give it a little time sitting there, we then store it in our bodies. I see this as if we are sitting in a fire. The flames are jumping up around us and all we can see is the flames, the hurt, the pain, the stress, the doubt and the anger. We have to deal with the moment, we want to survive, we want to live. This is when we start to form the coat. The impact is so great, so fast and so unfair, we have no idea what to do with it. Never mind, maybe if I just keep busy or change jobs or change relationships I can forget it and get on with life. At this moment the emotions, in our subconscious minds are beginning to get stuffed down, allowing more memories, more adventures to sit on top and NOW I can forget it. So you thought. Have you ever watched a movie or a tv programme to suddenly find for some unknown reason tears running down your checks or feeling blah in your stomach? This is no accident. This is your subconscious mind letting you know that there is a memory stored that has a similar feeling to the programme, similar in sight, sound, smell or touch to what you are watching. The event or situation does not need to be the same, just one small strand will link you back in. This is like wearing a mask of the hurt, pain, stress, doubt and anger and from that moment onwards no only do we see life through that mask, but others look back at us through that mask as well. What would it feel like to step out of the fire, to ease the pain and hurt? Firstly we need to de-stress that situation. We need to balance the brain, to allow both hemispheres to work evenly together instead of one side more dominant than the other. Its called a whole brained state, a state where the logical left brain is balanced with the creative right brain. Meaning the communication from the right hemisphere is as strong as the communication from the left side. I use a method called PSYCH-K that will quickly and easily resolve or dissolve the attachments to the fire. When the fire has been put out, there is a completely different outcome. It is like stepping out of the fire, out of the hurt and pain. This then allows us to look at the fire or situation and make new choices. Choices from a place of calm and peace and non-attachment. Yes, we can never take away the event or situation and we would never want to, as its part of who we are. Its played a part in giving us strength and compassion, love and understanding. But it does not have to rule our lives. So where to from here? Start taking notice when you get pissed off or frustrated, depressed or jealous. Is this really because of what just happened or because you are sick of people taking you for granted, or not respecting you or not seeing you. You may become aware of patterns, that I always feel disrespected or unloved or simply that life is so exhausting. For transformational and life changing help see how you could possibly work with Jacky Abbott If you had all the confidence in the world, how would you behave differently? Whether you see it as lacking confidence, fear of failure, I don't belong here or self doubt it will have affected every area of your life. It may have allowed you to have use reasoning like "thats not for me", "Im not smart enough" or "Im not good enough." What have you missed out on or lost because of it? I have worked with hundreds of people who are unhappy and unfulfilled because they have allowed their dreams and desires to fade away. Its not because they are stupid or lazy. Through teachers, family and friends you may have been given well-meaning advice on how to overcome self-doubt and boost self confidence. Some of it may have worked but not ultimately given you what you wanted. I want you to start noticing what your mind is saying or telling you. This is very important. You may notice thoughts such as 'I can't do that, its too hard for me', or 'don't go talk to them, they will think Im stupid', or 'Im not good enough'. You've been learning these thoughts since a small child. They are so deeply in-grained and supported by magazines, speakers, family and friends. Its the holding on to these rules that keep people stuck in the confidence turmoil. Trying hard to overcome the self-doubt, working hard to avoid failure and all the time getting more anxious. Confidence is something close to my heart as in my 20's and 30's the thought of being part of a group or to voice an option in a group of people was impossible. I would sit frozen in my chair slowly retreating deeper and deeper into my shell. On one side feeling better but on the other feeling so stuck in a prison of self doubt and fear that it would take hours to feel "normal" again. I have held myself back in many areas of life because of self doubt and fearing failure. And the good news is that I have been able to learn and change. I now take part in groups and socialise with confidence. So I trust the method of PSYCH-K, not only because it is solidly backed by science, not only because I have witnessed it helping hundreds of my clients, but because it has worked so well for me in my life. If you are willing to be open and change, it will work for you too. Maybe not over night and will take some time and effort but a cyclists doesn't learn how to win a race just by reading books. Yes its great to have the knowledge but some time and effort is also needed to reach their goals. And the same holds true for developing genuine confidence. What is the root cause? Carefully consider the important questions that follow. In a world where you had unlimited confidence: What would you stop doing? What sort of person would you be? How would you behave differently? How would you treat yourself differently? How would you talk to yourself? What goals would you set and work towards? The answers will provide the values and goals for your ongoing journey. Follow Your Bliss What am I here to do? What do I wish to do? Go within and listen to your heart. Its your authentic journey that makes you feel alive. Don't follow your wallet or other people. Listen to the call of your spirit. How do you find your bliss? What do you love doing, that when you engage in, time just disappears? Where did you not fit in at school that could be your bliss? Just because you don't know, don't put your head in the sand. If you are thinking about your bliss you will find your bliss. Try different things. Do something that will stretch you every 7 days. You may discover something you didn't know about yourself. Why do we not follow our bliss? One word.....fear. What will others think of me if I fail? We think others hold us back but we are the ones that say "I am not going to do this" "Opportunties to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging" says Joseph Campbell. Its not about getting rid of the fear but having courage. Courage is about getting up consistently. The ability to get up when knocked down. Facing fears and overcoming them gives us power. Go up to your fears so you can move through them. Its easy to give up on a job or walk away from a friendship. We can run away but courage is walking through it. How to get out of it? We need to stop fighting. We need to surrender. Who are we fighting.....we are fighting ourselves. Loving and accepting yourself just as you are is the way through. When we die we are all buried together, the CEO beside the truck driver, the multi-millionaire beside the homeless. What matters is how we show up. What difference did we make. The privilege of a lifetime is who you are. We push through the scariest thing possible to find the gold underneath our limits. Having a parasite can be a scary thought but you're not alone, they are a lot more common than you think. The definition of a parasite is any organism that lives and feeds off another organism. Some live in our gut feeding off the food we consume, leaving us hungry. We can get parasites from food and water and some can even enter the body by travelling through the bottom of your feet! Signs You May Have a Parasite 1. You traveled internationally and remember getting travellers diarrhoea. 2. You get skin irritations or unexplained hives, rashes or eczema. 3. You grind your teeth in your sleep. 4. Chronic digestive issues. 5. You never feel satisfied or full after meals. 6. Exhaustion, fatigue and depression. 7. Iron deficiency anaemia. 8. Abdominal pain. 9. You have pain or aching in your joints or muscles. 10. Itchy anus. The signs of parasites can often appear unrelated and unexplained. There are herbal mixtures or prescription medications that target parasites on the physical level. What beliefs may we have if we attract parasites? We attract parasites and disease to us the same way other people are drawn to us - through parallel belief systems. Yes that means we are running on the same belief system as the parasite. Take a look at our own life. Are you attracting people who suck you dry? Let me tell you about a client who was feeling exhausted no matter how much sleep she had. She was also presenting with some of the above physical symptoms but what she was most aware of was the feeling that she was constantly sorting and helping everyone else out and feeling there was nothing left to her. She was been sucked dry! After changing her self-limiting beliefs into supportive ones over half of her symptoms disappeared. Healthy beliefs to have if you suspect parasites. - I know what it feel like to live without allowing people to suck me dry. - Its ok to say no. - I know when to say no. - I feed my body with good food. - I easily live my life without being a martyr - I know how to live without being miserable. By looking at your belief systems before you do a parasite cleanse will help make the process smoother. How to prevent, reduce and cope with stress. Stress is happening in your life on a daily basis, whether its the bills coming in, taking an hour to drive to work, working and then rushing home for the kids, it is everywhere. You may think that it is impossible to reduce or prevent stress but there are ways that can help you to manage it on a daily basis. We all respond to stress differently and so there is no one way to manage it. But if you feel your life is out of control then it is definitely time to take measures to slow things down or to introduce coping methods. Where is stress in your life? Its important to locate where it is coming from as over time it all seems normal and you don't think "it" is causing stress. I suggest you start a stress journal and it will help you to track where it is coming from and the patterns you have formed. Heres a few questions to ask yourself.
How do you cope with stress at the moment? Do you have time out when you have a smoke, or go to the pub for a drink or do drugs or take your stress out on others by getting angry, or sleep all day as you have no energy or sit in front of the tv all night. As much as we need balance if you are doing any of the above activities every day, it is time to start looking at how you can can your habits or change the way you think about life. Some healthy ways of dealing with stress.
Core Limiting Beliefs When you are a young child you are like a sponge, you take in everything that is happening around you to be true and real, you take the world at face value. So your family and friends and teachers are your reality. And from this reality you draw what I call your core beliefs. If you were brought up in a family where neglect was normal and you were told 'you have done that wrong or not good enough" your beliefs or what you believe about yourself and the world will be quite different than someone whom had a loving environment where encouragement and praise was dished out on a daily basis. I had a client whose mother was abusive and depressed and often wasn't there for her. She felt alone and unsupported. She grew up believing, The world is not a safe place. I never have anyone there to support me. Its easier to be quiet and lose my voice and my opinions, just to keep the peace. She had physical and emotional symptoms presenting as low energy, never feeling part of group situations, as much as she didn't always want to be on her own, it was safer and she could never quite give to a relationship fully. Based on my work with clients, there is a list of common core limiting beliefs that people believe about themselves as children and take them into adulthood. Im not safe. Im not good enough. Im ugly and fat. The universe is such an unfriendly place. I am powerless and have not control. No one love me. I have no idea who I am. Its safer if nothing changes. Only bad things happen to me. Theres no one there for me. If I express my thoughts or needs to others I will be judged and rejected. I should be thankful for what I have even if Im not happy. As you can imagine these thoughts about yourself do not set you up to succeed or to have a happy life. What happens is that as a 50 year old, you are running on a 4 year olds view of themselves and the world. Look back over your family life at what you heard often, this will give you clues. Check all the beliefs above that resonate for you. These are the ones to work on. |
Jacky AbbottTransformation Facilitator, PSYCH-K Advanced Facilitator & Search
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October 2023
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